Someone Call Animal Control
by Red On My Ledger
Summary: A perfect day that goes hilariously wrong.


Note: Ok so I was texting my friend Chloe, xpuppychanx, and I asked her to give me an idea for a fanfic and she told me to write about Jubeii hitting on Ban but not knowing it, so I give her credit (to Chloe: See told you I would!) Oh, and neither of us own Get Backers, sadly.

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It was an absolutely gorgeous day outside. The sun was out and shining, there wasn't a cloud in the sky. There was a local circus in town and of course Ginji was all over it. He had convinced Ban to go with him and, after a lot of persuading, got him to come. Surprisingly, Ban was having a really fun time. The two had bought cotton candy and soda, saw a bearded lady, pet a donkey, rode an elephant, and were currently in line for the "fastest roller coaster known to man"-at least that's what the sign broadcasted. Yes, the day was just perfect and nothing, not one thing, could possibly ruin it.

"Ban!!!! This is going to be so much fun!!! I'M SO EXCITED!!!"

"I know Ginji, but calm down. You're making us look lame. QUIT BOUNCING IN PLACE!"

"Sorry!"

"Hey baby, what's your sign?" Said a voice that was obviously having a hard time attempting to be sexy. Ban heard it, recognized it, but did nothing because he thought that the man was talking to one of the really hot girls that had just walked by. "Someone call animal control, I just spotted a FOX!"

Still, Ban did nothing (besides hold back a laugh). Suddenly the man behind him tapped him on the shoulder. Ban turned around to find none other than-

"Jubeii?"

"Hey, how did you know it was me? Have we met in a past life? We're meant to be, aren't we baby?

This was the last straw, no one calls Ban baby unless it's that stripper he met at that new club down the street last week.

"DON'T CALL ME BABY YOU FRIGGIN IDIOT!!!!!" He said this as he slapped Jubeii across the face. This made Ginji turn around and look at the two curiously.

"No need to get feisty, hun, they'll be time for that tonight."

Ban blushed from shock and looked down at the ground in embarrassment and horror. Ginji felt nauseated from the situation, but decided to just be an innocent by stander for in case Ban ended up murdering the man.

"Hey, are you from Tennessee? Because you're the only ten-I-see!"

"OH MY GOD, MAN! ARE YOU BLIND?"

"..Yes.. But I can still _feel _my way around, if you know what I mean." He winked at Ban and planted a kiss on him. Ginji's jaw dropped to the floor. It was then that they heard an ear shattering scream a few steps away. It was Kazuki, looking at his long-time lover Jubeii having a one-sided make out session with Ban in a line for a roller coaster. The whole scene would have been comical if it had been someone else that saw them.

"OH MY! I AM JUST GOING TO DIE NOW. I AM GOING TO RUN OFF A CLIFF AND DIE. I CANNOT BELIEVE YOU JUBEII! I CANNOT! YOU SAID THAT YOU LOVED ME AND THAT I WAS THE ONLY MAN FOR YOU! WAS THAT JUST A LIE? OH, I CAN'T EVEN BELIEVE YOU RIGHT NOW! AND TO CHEAT ON ME IN A PUBLIC PLACE! AND WITH BAN--!!!!"

"Wait! No, no, no! Sugarbear I would never cheat on you! And especially with Ban-WAIT WHAT?! What does Ban have to do with this?"

"OH DON'T YOU PRETEND YOU DON'T KNOW. DON'T YOU _**DARE**_ PRETEND!"

Jubeii's voice went from defensive to panic in a matter of two point five seconds. "I don't know what you're talking about.."

Kazuki was crying his ever-so-feminine eyes out and by this point had thrown the two ice creams cones he was carrying (which were obviously for him and Jubeii) on the pavement to show his anger and hurt. "DON'T MAKE ME RELIVE IT! I JUST SAW YOU MAKE OUT WITH BAN!"

Jubeii blanched and blushed at the same time. One could see the worry in his very, very, _very_ **blind** eyes, and could hear the fright in his voice. "BAN!!?? OH MY _GOD_! I'M SO SORRY!!"

"I CAN'T TAKE THIS ANYMORE! YOU ALWAYS DO THIS CRAP NOWADAYS! IT'S LIKE I'M NOT GOOD ENOUGH ANYMORE!"

Kazuki started to run off dramatically and Ginji swore he heard him yell something about "the best sex he will ever have in his life". Jubeii ran after him and kept yelling his name and begging for forgiveness. Ban and Ginji were let standing in line in shock. Ban just stared blankly at nothing and then he fainted and fell on the ground, Ginji looked shocked.

"Uhm, we've been standing here in the very front of the line for like five minutes now and the coaster has already gone around three times, so.. Can we go in front of you? Or are you still going on the ride?" Came the sadistically charming voice of Akabane. He was with Hevn and both of them were staring at Ginji for an answer.

"Uh, uhm, uhhh…" Ginji stuttered. This was from total fright at having been in front of the two the entire time and not noticing, and confusion at Ban, Jubeii and Kazuki. He kept looking down at the passed out Ban for answers. "Ye-ye-ye-ye-YESSSSS, YOU CAN GO! I'M SO SORRY!!!!!!!!!!!"

"Thank you!" Said Jackal as he and Hevn made their way around Ban's body, trying their best not to step on him (which Hevn failed at doing and stepped on his leg with a high heel, she freaked out and Jackal stifled back a laugh). As they passed by Ginji he broke out into tears, turned chibi and passed out next to his partner on the dirty ground.

Yes, nothing could possibly ruin this perfect day…


End file.
